I tend to close the doors and windows of my room and savor the silence that I value so much. Well, that's what I tell myself. The truth is probably that I need to have those few moments where I'm completely myself. I've been seeing less of my friends lately, because they're all far away now. I tend to spend most of my time online watching crappy sitcoms. I've become distant. I don't talk much, but its not that I used to talk a lot before.
I've changed over the past few years. I used to be a person who valued things being done on time. I used to take pride in reaching placed way before time. I used to pick fights and get pissed at people who never valued my time. But now, I end up reaching places late, albeit only by 10 minutes. I think of doing my assignments a day before submission. I wait for the panic to hit me to give me that extra push to start studying and all this is taking a toll on me.
I used to be this person who was not afraid of anything. Now I feel weird taking control of situations. I feel I need 'company' to do stuff. Even if its something like going to the saloon or the grocery store. I've become more lazy. The rains aren't helping my case.
I've been putting on weight. That's because I don't have any kind of exercise in a day. It bugs me that my clothes seem tight now. I've joined and left the gym twice because I don't have company. I can't go running in the morning as it rains and even if it isn't raining I end up convincing myself not to go because of the 'what if it rains' possibility. I know I'm being lazy again.
I keep asking myself. Am I happy? I've deliberated over this for a long time now. When it comes to what all I have in life, yes, I'm happy. I however am not happy with myself. I'm not happy with the person I've turned into.
I really need to get my life back on track. I can't go on like this. Even the thought of what I'm doing with my life is making me cringe but its like I'm waiting for someone to shake me out of it. And I'm tired of making it someone else's job to set me straight. I need to take control. And I will.
I've changed over the past few years. I used to be a person who valued things being done on time. I used to take pride in reaching placed way before time. I used to pick fights and get pissed at people who never valued my time. But now, I end up reaching places late, albeit only by 10 minutes. I think of doing my assignments a day before submission. I wait for the panic to hit me to give me that extra push to start studying and all this is taking a toll on me.
I used to be this person who was not afraid of anything. Now I feel weird taking control of situations. I feel I need 'company' to do stuff. Even if its something like going to the saloon or the grocery store. I've become more lazy. The rains aren't helping my case.
I've been putting on weight. That's because I don't have any kind of exercise in a day. It bugs me that my clothes seem tight now. I've joined and left the gym twice because I don't have company. I can't go running in the morning as it rains and even if it isn't raining I end up convincing myself not to go because of the 'what if it rains' possibility. I know I'm being lazy again.
I keep asking myself. Am I happy? I've deliberated over this for a long time now. When it comes to what all I have in life, yes, I'm happy. I however am not happy with myself. I'm not happy with the person I've turned into.
I really need to get my life back on track. I can't go on like this. Even the thought of what I'm doing with my life is making me cringe but its like I'm waiting for someone to shake me out of it. And I'm tired of making it someone else's job to set me straight. I need to take control. And I will.
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